Man oh man. Fathers…..Hoping you all had an AMAZING father’s day! I LOVE father’s day. I happen to be blessed to have a pretty fantastic dad. I refer to my father as “pops.” As a result, my daughter has chosen to call him papa.
While I care for women, through all stages of their lives, I encounter “guys” on a pretty regular basis. Whether it’s a dad bringing his daughter to an obgyn appointment for period issues. Yes, there are men that do that. To men that come to prenatal visits with their wives. And then of course there are men that I encounter during the labor and delivery process, or occasionally at a routine gyn visit whether it be with their wife, or an aging mother.
The fact of the matter is, I have my fair share of run-ins with males. Most good. Some hilarious. Other’s…With it having just been father’s day and all, I thought I’d share a few thoughts about the men I encounter on a routine basis.
Prenatal Visit Men. LOVE when the fob(father of the baby)comes to the prenatal visit. Why? Well, the obvious reason is that your wife didn’t get in this pregnancy predicament by herself. The not so obvious reasons include, it’s always less “odd” meeting you for the first time at the delivery, or, how about, your coming to the prenatal visits is a good way to provide the needed support your wife, and women in general, need during the time of pregnancy. As much as no one wants to admit it, pregnancy can be a very trying time. Hearing the hows and whys regarding your wife’s mood swings, aches, and pains, as well as doctor’s advice can’t be anything but good.
Labor and Delivery Men. The few. The proud. The men that don’t look the other way during the labor process. Gotta say, the man that is actually present at the time of labor and delivery is pretty rare. I’m not speaking of “physically” being present, but “mentally” engaged. Most men look away while their wives birth baby into the world, others sit in the corner in an attempt to prevent passing out, and still others gripe about how tired they are from holding their partner’s leg or supporting her back while pushing. Really?!?!? This happened during a recent delivery I did….All the women in the room looked at that man like, “are you kidding?!?!?” Needless to say, a good laugh was had by all.
Postpartum Men. Becoming a dad is pretty exciting. Scary. Imagine how women feel. Lets keep it 100, women are the ones doing most of the duties as relates to baby and household. Not a criticism, merely an observation. With the addition of fourth trimester care which basically involves seeing moms much sooner than the typical 6 weeks of old, it’s a good opportunity to check in on the family and ensure that everyone is ok. Dads included. I recently provided care for a family that lost a baby shortly after birth. Of course, these are things that happen, part of that 2 percent you occasionally hear me refer to(my job is happy 98% of the time). Not only do moms grieve, but dads grieve as well. Just as we routinely remind men that women don’t get into this pregnancy predicament by themselves, during times of hardship and loss, it’s important for providers to remember that women don’t traverse grief, and hardship alone. There is someone else going through this as well. Fathers. Men.
With the array of emotions I’ve experienced over the past week; i.e., becoming a new aunt, helping a couple deal with the grief associated with losing a child, to bringing life into the world on a very routine basis….I am reminded about the circle of life. Being grateful for the little things, which most of the time are more significant than we think. And recognizing that it’s ok not to have the answers all the time. Sometimes a hug and tears are enough.
Hoping this blog post has added value to your day.
Until next time,
Look Better. Feel Better. Be Better.
Wife, mother, Midwesterner, and award-winning OB/GYN, Dr. Angela is equal parts best girlfriend and bold professional, supporting women’s health with innovative approaches to care and heavy doses of humor. Dr. Angela has done more than launch a successful practice, she has defined herself as a voice for a new generation of womanhood, established her ASK DR. ANGELA brand committed to authenticity, and built a community rooted in trust, candor, and compassion.